Friday night and Saturday brought a second dose of rain (I promise I’ll get off the rain theme by next post!)
Maya hid in the closet again; Lidian prefers to play in the rain and turn into a big black — and wet — weasel.
My state of mind and moods have matched the weather lately – strange and funny how that can happen, I’m not sure which is the catalyst for the other.
There are moments of blue sky and clarity, and then I wake up to a silver fog; the clouds move in, then clear, then come again with rain in tow, falling whenever they just can’t carry their load of rain any longer.
Such has been my pattern of late, as I’ve tried to visualize and make plans for my career and writing paths in bridging short- and long-term dreams and plans. For a while, I’m certain I’m on the path and knowing where I need to be, and then – without warning – I’m searching in the fog, trying to hold on to what I value to be the most important, the most real, wanting to fly but also wanting to keep my feet on the ground. Decisions, decisions.
Cryptic, I know, but such are the nature of my own emotions to me, most of the time.
I sometimes have to feel blindly and experience the ups, downs, and in-betweens, willing myself to reflect and think – and rethink some more – ever tuning my parameters to better hear that inner voice that speaks only when I stop – and listen. The subconscious, instinct, the higher muse, a combination of all these avenues, perhaps? It might be a few days, or a few months, before I’ve finally heard and interpreted all that needs to be passed on to my conscious self.
Granted, I am still in the midst of one of these reflective periods.
But when I wasn’t looking…
I went out on the porch after last night’s rain storm to pick up something I’d left out, turned round, and was greeted with a double rainbow.
Not just a shard, but a full arch.
I got so excited to capture the whole spectrum, I ran down the stairs, dragging my halloween pajama pant hems through puddles as I snapped this way and that from out front of our apartment.
My first California rainbow – double rainbow.
Reminding me that clarity and life in full-color is always there, the inspiration after the rain passes.
Double the faith, double the hope.
A comfort and assuredness in those deep seashell pinks and tangerines, pulled up and tucking in the evening sky.
The sky responds to that old light, refuses to stay stagnant, steady but ever changing.
I might read too much into nature’s parallels; then again, maybe not.
Either way, my wish this eve is that you – and I – carry on, through rain storms and rainbows, keeping faith in each passing. Can’t have one without the other.